were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
