So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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