I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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