just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
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This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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