Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
