Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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