What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize