afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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