If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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