I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
