i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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