Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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