Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
