I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
