did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
