I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We need a shit load of segways right now
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
