i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
