Christians are straight up FREAKS
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
