He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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