Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
