okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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