sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
