its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
