Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize