Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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