SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
