Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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