Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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