I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
