Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
