sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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