Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
