@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize