wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
