Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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