its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
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he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
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sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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