So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
