Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize