So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize