Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
