Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
