Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
