Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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