I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
