I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
