I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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