youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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