My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize