chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
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I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
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He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole