Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT