I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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