I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
