Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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