why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
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Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
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I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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