i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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