Just fell off a train. Bad.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Watching her eat just hurts me
you are never too drunk for berry picking
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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