I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
