I'm drive I can fine osifer
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
