Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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