Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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