I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
