Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
