its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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