I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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