Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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