I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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