So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
