but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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