just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
